Stepping Up, Moving Over

For various reasons I've decided to integrate my blog into the Inn's website. All of the old posts and comments should be at the new location, it will probably take me a little time to get the links back up. Any of you who have this blog bookmarked or read it in a feed needs to change your settings, as well as anyone who might have this blog linked to a blog or site of your own.

I can now be found here.

Thanks for reading & staying with me!

Social Networking

It's a connected world out there people!

Are you all aware that I have a Facebook Fan Page for the inn? No? Visit it here. Become a fan! Leave a comment! If you send me pictures from your stay I'll post them for you - or I think you can post them yourself.

You can also follow me on Twitter. I wasn't sure I'd like using it, but I actually do. I love the 140 character limit, it makes me think about my wording and it makes it much easier to go through the posts of the people I follow.

It's a beautiful day today, I'd best make the most of it. Thanks for reading!

Slice of PAII

I'm off this week to the PAII* conference in Atlanta. It promises to be three days of information-packed sessions, a busy trade show and (I hope) some time spent with innkeeper friends from other parts of the country.

In other news, my occupancy for the first quarter of this year is up slightly from last year, economy not withstanding. Reservations for the summer are coming in steadily as well. Signs of spring are everywhere, even though the weather has remained chilly. When I get back it will be time to start thinking about yard cleanup and spring projects.

A guest snapped this nifty photo of a hawk at the Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary a couple of weeks ago and sent it, along with permission to use it here:

Thanks, Mia!

If I learn anything worth reporting at the conference I'll post about it when I return. Y'all have a great week.

*PAII is the acronym for the Professional Association of Innkeepers International, the trade association for B&B owners and Innkeepers. It's pronounced "pie".

Holy Sheet

The long search is finally over; I've found new sheets that will work for the inn and ordered them. The new sheets are just different enough to require new duvet covers as well, I ordered those two weeks ago from another source. I've also decided to put the duvets into storage in the summer and switch to a lighter weight coverlet; that order went in with the sheets. The final piece to the puzzle will be new bed skirts; the ones I'm using now were purchased with and matched the original sheets. They're just enough off the color of the new sheets & duvet covers to bother me.

I wouldn't have thought replacing sheets would be this painful, but as it turns out I have a very specific set of criteria and for various reasons it has been difficult to find what I needed. One of my primary issues is that I wanted sheets I don't have to iron; quite frankly I haven't the space or the time to iron sheets. That meant I needed a cotton/poly blend sheet. When I opened the inn in 2000, there were a couple of American manufacturers making nice blend sheets and that's what I bought. Within about two years, however, all the remaining American manufacturers of sheets closed down and all sheets were being brought in from other countries. Well, guess what? Polyester is pretty cheap in the U.S., cheaper than cotton, but in most other countries like China and Pakistan, where a lot of sheets are now being produced, cotton is much cheaper than polyester. For a long time I couldn't for the life of me figure out why blend sheets had disappeared, until someone made a comment - I've forgotten who and what it was - that made the answer crystal clear. If you didn't know, polyester is a petroleum product; our government was being run by people with interests in the petroleum industry - you do the math. Ergo, 100% cotton sheets became the norm. There were still some institutional-grade blend sheets available, but those were an unacceptable quality for my purposes. It's only in the last year or two that I've started to see a few blend sheets in higher thread counts come back on the market and I finally found ones that I liked.

It's a relief to no longer have to examine the offerings in every linen/home supply/hospitality catalog that crosses my threshold looking for "the" sheet that will work. I've ordered enough sets to get me through 2 - 3 years if I keep an eye out for stains, in a couple of months when my cash flow is a bit better I'll probably order a few more so I can get 4 - 5 years out of this pattern & style. Given how long I've been looking for these, I guess I'll have to start the search all over again in a year. I can hardly wait.

Laugh Therapy

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel after a good belly laugh? I'm talking about the kind where you just can't control yourself and where tears come out of your eyes. A laugh like that just seems to release a lot of stress and suddenly whatever was bothering me seems a lot less difficult.

I have found a number of websites that make me laugh on occasion, but none so consistently as this site. Go spend a little time there, it's like a mini-vacation. Just one warning: don't have anything in your mouth when you open the site or I guarantee it will wind up on the screen.

Six Word Memoir

I just returned from my annual February trip to NYC. It was great, I saw a lot of friends and ate some good food. On my way out of the City yesterday I was listening to WNYC and the Leonard Lopate show. I used to listen to him a lot when I was living in Brooklyn and home on weekdays (read: unemployed). His show was always a bright spot in my day.

Yesterday's show centered around a contest to write a personal memoir in six words. It was surprisingly interesting and it inspired me to come up with my own. Here it is:
Living a life I didn't expect.

Two Good Things

I almost always have guests on President's Day weekend, although it may only be two or three rooms. This year for some reason the stars seem to have aligned and deposited Valentine's Day on the Saturday of the long weekend. As a result, I have a full house for two nights. Woo hoo! I also have a couple of rooms booked for Sunday night, which is a bonus since not everyone gets President's Day off. Most of the reservations were last minute, all but one came in a week or less before the weekend began. That's not unusual for winter reservations; people wait for the weather forecast before deciding to drive anywhere.

Edit: I spoke too soon... my one guest coming for a single Saturday just cancelled. Anyone want a last-minute room for tonight?

Edit part 2: Someone called hoping for a room tonight. They got one. The "No Vacancy" sign is back up and all is right with the world.

There's a couple that has stayed here several days to a week every summer for about five years. They didn't stay last summer and I actually did notice their absence. He called a couple of weeks ago to reserve a room for this summer and I asked him about last year, he told me they'd taken a special trip for a big birthday and hadn't had enough vacation time left to allow for a trip to Wellfleet. He seemed pleased to have been missed. This summer he and his wife want to stay for two weeks! Typically I request a 50% deposit to guarantee the reservation, but since this was going to be a fairly big number and because I know some people are struggling, I offered to break up the deposit into two payments for him. He replied that there was no need; when the stock market began to fall he'd liquidated some investment he'd had and that he could think of no better place to put his money than at The Stone Lion Inn.

Most of the time I like what I do. Sometimes, I love it.

Me/We

I'm having a bit of trouble with pronouns lately. It took me years of conscious effort to learn to use we and us when speaking of the business because my husband, quite rightly, wished to feel included. Now that he is no longer part of the business, I find that the habit is thoroughly ingrained and I catch myself using the plural where the singular is now correct. This is one of the odd, unexpected consequences of splitting up, I guess.

On a lighter note, reservations are definitely coming in for the summer so I'm cautiously optimistic about the season. If anyone out there is considering staying with me this summer, making reservations early is advised. That is particularly true if you are tied to specific dates for an event or anniversary, or for any time in August.

Breaking the News

Now that the holidays have passed and apparently despite the economy, people are beginning to think about summer travel plans. Among those people are some of our repeat guests, particularly the ones who come every year. They are the ones who know they need to reserve early in order to get the dates and/or room they want. Because we have established something very close to a friendship with these frequent repeat guests, every one of them, in their call or email, asks me how I am and then asks about Adam. As difficult as it is, I'd rather tell them up front about the split than skirt the issue and have to deal with it during their stay, possibly in front of other guests. Adam has been a strong and constant presence here, making breakfast at least two days a week and interacting with guests. They like him every bit as much as they like me. His absence, and his skill as a storyteller, will not go unnoticed.

It's an awkward thing, telling people about the divorce. I've almost gotten good at saying the words, but I've had some practice and time to get used to the idea. For someone just hearing it I think it's harder. I frequently hear "I don't know what to say." That makes me sad, but it's honest and I appreciate that. Several people have told me they've been through it themselves, which is surprisingly reassuring. I see them with their current spouse and I see how devoted they are to that person and it gives me hope for a future relationship. Not that I'm wallowing in sorrow or actively searching for anyone new in my life, but is good to see that happiness with another person can be achieved. That is something I will never get tired of.

One of my absolute favorite couples arrived for a stay about a week after Adam moved out. When they arrived, my assistant Nancy was covering check-ins and I was at my weekly riding lesson. By the time I got back, the husband had dropped his wife off at the seminar she was attending, so I knocked on their room door to at least greet him in person. The third sentence out of his mouth was "And where is Adam?" Ouch. I knew it was coming, but this was the first time I'd had to actually do this.

"He's not living here anymore" I told him, and I was literally choking back tears. Adam & I both love this couple, we even exchange gifts with them. And then he told me the oddest thing.

"Ah," he said. "I had a dream the other night that we got here and Adam wasn't here."

I was speechless. Fortunately, he was not. And he broke the news to his wife, who I didn't see until the next morning. They were very supportive. I knew they also wanted to see Adam and I knew that Adam was going to feel uncomfortable about seeing people after they were told what was going on, but I did make sure he came to see them before they left and I think all three of them were happy that I did. But that doesn't change the fact that it's awkward all the way around and it will continue to be so for a while.

To 2008

I bid you adieu, farewell, adios.

It's been a year of ups and downs like most, but it's also been probably the most difficult year of my adult life. I am not sorry to see the end of it.

Here's to a better 2009. Happy New Year, everyone.

Solstice

I want to wish all my readers (both of them) a happy, healthy, safe Winter Solstice and whatever other holiday you may celebrate this week. May you be warm & dry and surrounded by those you love.

Provincetown's "famous" lobster trap Christmas Tree

Challenging

I have a guest here who appears to have an extreme case of homophobia. Wouldn't even consider going to Provincetown where, unlike Wellfleet at the moment, there are good restaurants (the topic of restaurant closings is a whole other post). If there is one thing I can't tolerate, it's intolerance - whether it be racial, sexual, social or anything else. This is going to be a long two days of tongue-biting for me in order not to get into an argument with the guest.

I'm resisting the urge to call several of my gay friends and invite them to have breakfast here on Tuesday. It would be fun, though.

Social Networking

I joined Facebook back in June. I did it because the owner of the Post Secret site started a page there and I wanted access to it. I put up a bare-bones profile, did a couple of searches and "friended" a couple of people. Then I pretty much left it alone on the theory that this was largely a site for the under-30 crowd. Until about five weeks ago. Then, all of a sudden I started getting messages and friend requests as a bunch of my old friends from high school and college - and I mean at least a dozen people, all over 45 - joined the site and started searching for people. I've reconnected with a number of them now. With some I've exchanged just a message or two, with others I feel like I've really resumed a long-dormant friendship. It couldn't have come at a better time.

As a side benefit, Facebook is now allowing people to set up pages for their businesses. I've done one for the inn. I'm not sure if I'll see a benefit from it, but at the moment it's free and it can't hurt. It may help me draw in a younger generation of B&B goers.

I also recently joined Linked In. That site is more for business networking. There is some overlap between the friends I've found there and the ones on Facebook, but I've found a number of people on Linked In who have probably never considered joining Facebook.

If you've been getting invitations to join either of these sites, take a chance and do it. You might be surprised at who you find there. Be warned, though, both can be a bit of a time-suck if you let them.

Winter Light

The light here is different from anywhere else I've lived. It's most noticable in the winter, when the angle of the sun is so much lower, and particularly near sunset. It can make for some very dramatic scenes.

Here are two photos* that illustrate that beautifully, taken by my friend and sometime-guest, Tom Baratz.

This is Mayo Beach, on the harbor, at sunset:
And this is one of our ocean-side beaches, Newcomb Hollow, also near sunset:

*THESE PHOTOS ARE NOT TO BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION

Want to see it for yourself? We're open through the winter, come on down!

Let Me Clue You In

If you're a company wanting to do business with me, let me give you two little suggestions:

1) Hire people to make your phone calls who I can understand and who can understand me. Speaking to someone who's English is so heavily accented that I have to ask them to repeat things several times just frustrates me, and I'm sure it frustrates them as well. And it's equally unhelpful if I have to keep repeating myself to be understood.*

2) When I say I'm not interested, thank me and hang up. Do not keep talking. I do not enjoy hanging up on you, but I will.

*I have nothing against people who's first language is not English, but heavy accents are much more difficult to understand on the phone than face-to-face. All I'm suggesting is that when companies hire people to do phone sales, they should conduct a test run on the phone with the candidate to see if there's a problem with making themselves understood/understanding the other person.

End of rant. Thanks for listening.

Yes We Did

My favorite photo, so far, from this election.

These two people have a long, difficult road ahead of them. This country is quite a mess.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he is as good as the speech he gave last night.

Wildlife

I thought I'd share two marvelous photos taken earlier this month. The first was taken at the Wellfleet Bay Audubon Sanctuary by a guest staying with us.

Isn't he pretty? The guest, who is from the UK where white tail deer are not found, was thrilled to have seen him and to have gotten this photo.

The next photo was taken by a guest who stays with us on a somewhat regular basis. Thank you, Tom*, for sharing this photo of river otters at Gull Pond.

*This photo is by Tom Baratz. Please do not use it without permission.

October Rituals

This weekend is the annual Wellfleet Oyster Festival. It started out tiny just eight years ago, now it attracts 20 - 30,000 people to town over the course of the weekend. That's ten times the size of the year-round population! There will be a shucking contest*, live music, various cooking demonstrations, a tour of the oyster flats, a 5k road race and something like 100,000 Wellfleet oysters will be consumed over the course of the two days. It's fun to see that many people in town and the organizers and volunteers do an amazing job with set-up and clean up. On Monday morning there will be no trace that anything unusual happened over the weekend.

A less fun ritual is the annual closing of the seasonal restaurants. As much as we look forward to them opening each spring, we dread them closing in the fall. We know it has to happen, the local population just can't support that many restaurants. Also, the owners and staff are exhausted and many of the buildings that house the restaurants are unheated which makes them unsuitable for year-round use. Still, we miss having the options both for ourselves and as places to refer our guests.

Some of the restaurants closed last weekend, most of the rest that close will do so this Sunday. One or two others will hang on for another week or two, but by the beginning of November we will be down to three or four restaurants in town and that will not improve until April. On the positive side, there is the chance to socialize with some of our friends who own those restaurants and who we don't see during the busy season unless we go out to eat.

I enjoy the rhythm of life here, it is as inevitable and predictable as the tides.

*Congratulations to Wellfleet's own William "Chopper" Young, winner of the World Oyster Shucking Championship.

Green Travel

There has been a lot of talk lately about "going green". We are all being encouraged to think about our environmental footprint, change our light bulbs, reduce waste, drive less and so forth. There is also a "green" trend in the travel and hospitality industry, and while I think anything that can be done to reduce energy consumption and waste is good, I wonder how many travelers actually choose a lodging establishment based on how "green" it is.

We have been pretty green from the very beginning but I've never advertised it because it's just what I do. To me it isn't a marketing ploy, it's how I want to live my life. And we aren't totally green, there are no solar panels on the house and the property isn't large enough for a windmill so we are forced to use oil and propane for heat, hot water and drying laundry. Only rarely do I hang anything to dry outside. Our electricity use could probably be reduced by putting in power strips for things like televisions and video decks. I haven't yet changed over to a water saving front loading washing machine, although I probably will very soon; our current washer is showing definite signs of advancing age. Still, I think I do more than the average homeowner. For anyone interested, here is a list of our green practices:

- Soap/shampoo/lotion dispensers in the bathrooms save on all those little plastic bottles;
- Navy blue towels and colored bed linens so we don't have to use bleach in the wash;
- Compost almost all fruit/vegetable waste from the kitchen (except in winter);
- Compact fluorescent light bulbs in all lights that burn many hours a day and I'm in the process of changing the bulbs in more places;
- Timers for outdoor lighting;
- Recycling, including bottles, cans, newspapers & cardboard;
- Freecycle(TM) for items we no longer use but that aren't ready for the trash, like blankets & towels that we change out every couple of years. Pillows and linens that are too stained or worn for human use go to an animal shelter;
- Air conditioners are installed in frames that allow us to open the window above the unit. This permits a cross-breeze in all our guest rooms and minimizes the use of air conditioning;
- Ceiling fans in all guest rooms, living room, dining room, kitchen and our personal space to cool without a/c;
- Minimal use of chemical cleaning agents;
- Purchasing larger refill sizes and/or concentrates rather than small bottles where possible;
- Programmable thermostat for the heat which allows us to keep the house warmer during peak guest usage (mornings and evenings) and cooler mid-day and at night without having to remember to set it ourselves;
- Purchasing recycled office supplies as much as possible, including copy paper, our letterhead & envelopes, file folders and clasp envelopes;
- Switched from sending snail-mail confirmation letters to email;
- Switched to paperless billing for as many of my business & personal bills as possible;
- In order to save water on longer stays, sheets and towels are changed after the third night. Requests for more frequent changes are, of course, honored;
- When planting my garden each spring, I specifically look for drought-hardy annuals that don't have to be watered every day.

Wow. Pretty exciting, right? I'm sure everyone who reads this is going to want to book rooms here now.

Let's face it, most "green" practices are pretty mundane. I do these things because they make sense to ME. In some cases they actually make my life easier (less watering, fewer light bulb changes, two or three loads of laundry saved in a busy week), in other cases they increase my workload (rinsing & sorting recyclables, bundling newspaper & cardboard, resetting timers, mixing cleaning agents and filling spray bottles).

Okay, now I'd like to hear from my readers. I have a stat. counter, I know you're out there. Do "green" practices weigh into your decisions about lodging when going on vacation? Do you think there is more I should be doing? And what do you do at home?

Change of Season, Season of Change

It's hard to believe it's Labor Day already. Another summer, gone. Not that I expect business to slow down much, but the pace of life usually does after this weekend.

This summer has both flown and dragged by. The inn, and I, are going through some transitions. My husband and partner, Adam, and I are getting divorced. He will be moving out some time in October. That means I will need to find help to do some of the things Adam has done here over the years and to that end I have hired and am training an assistant innkeeper. She will take over the two breakfast shifts per week that Adam has been doing and cover check ins some afternoons so I can get out and do the shopping, another of Adam's jobs, and take care of any personal appointments. So that's one piece of the puzzle. There are many others I'm still figuring out.

Although I am sad and sometimes terrified, I do see the possibilities for positive change in all this. For one thing, I have someone to whom I can delegate certain things. Adam was a partner and would not have been a good choice to delegate some of my projects to, since he considered them my projects. Already Nancy has helped me with two small things that I have been wanting to get done but have been unable to motivate myself to do, even though I had everything I needed to do them. And over the winter I'll have her work with me to improve organization in my kitchen and office.

Adam and I have made every effort to keep this all behind the scenes. We're much more sad than angry about the whole thing and we want our guests to have the relaxing vacation they came here for. So far, from the comments in our guest book, we seem to have been successful. I hope arriving guests who read this don't get weirded out by it. The plan is to continue to provide the hospitality we've become known for.

I'm more concerned about the guests who have been here before, some of whom come every year. It will be difficult telling them, but I suppose it'll get easier with practice. Wish me luck.